Act II · Scene IV
The Boar's-Head Tavern, Eastcheap.
Hover a speech to translate it — or press play to hear it performed.
Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS
PRINCE HENRY
Ned, prithee, come out of that fat room, and lend methy hand to laugh a little.
POINS
Where hast been, Hal?
PRINCE HENRY
With three or four loggerheads amongst three or fourscore hogsheads. I have sounded the verybase-string of humility. Sirrah, I am sworn brotherto a leash of drawers; and can call them all bytheir christen names, as Tom, Dick, and Francis.They take it already upon their salvation, thatthough I be but the prince of Wales, yet I am kingof courtesy; and tell me flatly I am no proud Jack,like Falstaff, but a Corinthian, a lad of mettle, agood boy, by the Lord, so they call me, and when Iam king of England, I shall command all the goodlads in Eastcheap. They call drinking deep, dyeingscarlet; and when you breathe in your watering, theycry 'hem!' and bid you play it off. To conclude, Iam so good a proficient in one quarter of an hour,that I can drink with any tinker in his own languageduring my life. I tell thee, Ned, thou hast lostmuch honour, that thou wert not with me in this sweetaction. But, sweet Ned,--to sweeten which name ofNed, I give thee this pennyworth of sugar, clappedeven now into my hand by an under-skinker, one thatnever spake other English in his life than 'Eightshillings and sixpence' and 'You are welcome,' withthis shrill addition, 'Anon, anon, sir! Score a pintof bastard in the Half-Moon,' or so. But, Ned, todrive away the time till Falstaff come, I prithee,do thou stand in some by-room, while I question mypuny drawer to what end he gave me the sugar; and dothou never leave calling 'Francis,' that his taleto me may be nothing but 'Anon.' Step aside, andI'll show thee a precedent.
POINS
Francis!
PRINCE HENRY
Thou art perfect.
POINS
Francis!
Exit POINS
Enter FRANCIS
FRANCIS
Anon, anon, sir. Look down into the Pomgarnet, Ralph.
PRINCE HENRY
Come hither, Francis.
FRANCIS
My lord?
PRINCE HENRY
How long hast thou to serve, Francis?
FRANCIS
Forsooth, five years, and as much as to--
POINS
[Within] Francis!
FRANCIS
Anon, anon, sir.
PRINCE HENRY
Five year! by'r lady, a long lease for the clinkingof pewter. But, Francis, darest thou be so valiantas to play the coward with thy indenture and show ita fair pair of heels and run from it?
FRANCIS
O Lord, sir, I'll be sworn upon all the books inEngland, I could find in my heart.
POINS
[Within] Francis!
FRANCIS
Anon, sir.
PRINCE HENRY
How old art thou, Francis?
FRANCIS
Let me see--about Michaelmas next I shall be--
POINS
[Within] Francis!
FRANCIS
Anon, sir. Pray stay a little, my lord.
PRINCE HENRY
Nay, but hark you, Francis: for the sugar thougavest me,'twas a pennyworth, wast't not?
FRANCIS
O Lord, I would it had been two!
PRINCE HENRY
I will give thee for it a thousand pound: ask mewhen thou wilt, and thou shalt have it.
POINS
[Within] Francis!
FRANCIS
Anon, anon.
PRINCE HENRY
Anon, Francis? No, Francis; but to-morrow, Francis;or, Francis, o' Thursday; or indeed, Francis, whenthou wilt. But, Francis!
FRANCIS
My lord?
PRINCE HENRY
Wilt thou rob this leathern jerkin, crystal-button,not-pated, agate-ring, puke-stocking, caddis-garter,smooth-tongue, Spanish-pouch,--
FRANCIS
O Lord, sir, who do you mean?
PRINCE HENRY
Why, then, your brown bastard is your only drink;for look you, Francis, your white canvas doubletwill sully: in Barbary, sir, it cannot come to so much.
FRANCIS
What, sir?
POINS
[Within] Francis!
PRINCE HENRY
Away, you rogue! dost thou not hear them call?
Here they both call him; the drawer stands amazed, not knowing which way to go
Enter Vintner
Vintner
What, standest thou still, and hearest such acalling? Look to the guests within.
Exit Francis
Vintner
My lord, old Sir John, with half-a-dozen more, areat the door: shall I let them in?
PRINCE HENRY
Let them alone awhile, and then open the door.
Exit Vintner
PRINCE HENRY
Poins!
Re-enter POINS
POINS
Anon, anon, sir.
PRINCE HENRY
Sirrah, Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are atthe door: shall we be merry?
POINS
As merry as crickets, my lad. But hark ye; whatcunning match have you made with this jest of thedrawer? come, what's the issue?
PRINCE HENRY
I am now of all humours that have showed themselveshumours since the old days of goodman Adam to thepupil age of this present twelve o'clock at midnight.
Re-enter FRANCIS
PRINCE HENRY
What's o'clock, Francis?
FRANCIS
Anon, anon, sir.
Exit
PRINCE HENRY
That ever this fellow should have fewer words than aparrot, and yet the son of a woman! His industry isupstairs and downstairs; his eloquence the parcel ofa reckoning. I am not yet of Percy's mind, theHotspur of the north; he that kills me some six orseven dozen of Scots at a breakfast, washes hishands, and says to his wife 'Fie upon this quietlife! I want work.' 'O my sweet Harry,' says she,'how many hast thou killed to-day?' 'Give my roanhorse a drench,' says he; and answers 'Somefourteen,' an hour after; 'a trifle, a trifle.' Iprithee, call in Falstaff: I'll play Percy, andthat damned brawn shall play Dame Mortimer hiswife. 'Rivo!' says the drunkard. Call in ribs, call in tallow.
Enter FALSTAFF, GADSHILL, BARDOLPH, and PETO; FRANCIS following with wine
POINS
Welcome, Jack: where hast thou been?
FALSTAFF
A plague of all cowards, I say, and a vengeance too!marry, and amen! Give me a cup of sack, boy. Ere Ilead this life long, I'll sew nether stocks and mendthem and foot them too. A plague of all cowards!Give me a cup of sack, rogue. Is there no virtue extant?
He drinks
PRINCE HENRY
Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of butter?pitiful-hearted Titan, that melted at the sweet taleof the sun's! if thou didst, then behold that compound.
FALSTAFF
You rogue, here's lime in this sack too: there isnothing but roguery to be found in villanous man:yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with limein it. A villanous coward! Go thy ways, old Jack;die when thou wilt, if manhood, good manhood, benot forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I ashotten herring. There live not three good menunhanged in England; and one of them is fat andgrows old: God help the while! a bad world, I say.I would I were a weaver; I could sing psalms or anything. A plague of all cowards, I say still.
PRINCE HENRY
How now, wool-sack! what mutter you?
FALSTAFF
A king's son! If I do not beat thee out of thykingdom with a dagger of lath, and drive all thysubjects afore thee like a flock of wild-geese,I'll never wear hair on my face more. You Prince of Wales!
PRINCE HENRY
Why, you whoreson round man, what's the matter?
FALSTAFF
Are not you a coward? answer me to that: and Poins there?
POINS
'Zounds, ye fat paunch, an ye call me coward, by theLord, I'll stab thee.
FALSTAFF
I call thee coward! I'll see thee damned ere I callthee coward: but I would give a thousand pound Icould run as fast as thou canst. You are straightenough in the shoulders, you care not who sees yourback: call you that backing of your friends? Aplague upon such backing! give me them that willface me. Give me a cup of sack: I am a rogue, if Idrunk to-day.
PRINCE HENRY
O villain! thy lips are scarce wiped since thoudrunkest last.
FALSTAFF
All's one for that.
He drinks
FALSTAFF
A plague of all cowards, still say I.
PRINCE HENRY
What's the matter?
FALSTAFF
What's the matter! there be four of us here haveta'en a thousand pound this day morning.
PRINCE HENRY
Where is it, Jack? where is it?
FALSTAFF
Where is it! taken from us it is: a hundred uponpoor four of us.
PRINCE HENRY
What, a hundred, man?
FALSTAFF
I am a rogue, if I were not at half-sword with adozen of them two hours together. I have 'scaped bymiracle. I am eight times thrust through thedoublet, four through the hose; my buckler cutthrough and through; my sword hacked like ahand-saw--ecce signum! I never dealt better sinceI was a man: all would not do. A plague of allcowards! Let them speak: if they speak more orless than truth, they are villains and the sons of darkness.
PRINCE HENRY
Speak, sirs; how was it?
GADSHILL
We four set upon some dozen--
FALSTAFF
Sixteen at least, my lord.
GADSHILL
And bound them.
PETO
No, no, they were not bound.
FALSTAFF
You rogue, they were bound, every man of them; or Iam a Jew else, an Ebrew Jew.
GADSHILL
As we were sharing, some six or seven fresh men set upon us--
FALSTAFF
And unbound the rest, and then come in the other.
PRINCE HENRY
What, fought you with them all?
FALSTAFF
All! I know not what you call all; but if I foughtnot with fifty of them, I am a bunch of radish: ifthere were not two or three and fifty upon poor oldJack, then am I no two-legged creature.
PRINCE HENRY
Pray God you have not murdered some of them.
FALSTAFF
Nay, that's past praying for: I have peppered twoof them; two I am sure I have paid, two roguesin buckram suits. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tellthee a lie, spit in my face, call me horse. Thouknowest my old ward; here I lay and thus I bore mypoint. Four rogues in buckram let drive at me--
PRINCE HENRY
What, four? thou saidst but two even now.
FALSTAFF
Four, Hal; I told thee four.
POINS
Ay, ay, he said four.
FALSTAFF
These four came all a-front, and mainly thrust atme. I made me no more ado but took all their sevenpoints in my target, thus.
PRINCE HENRY
Seven? why, there were but four even now.
FALSTAFF
In buckram?
POINS
Ay, four, in buckram suits.
FALSTAFF
Seven, by these hilts, or I am a villain else.
PRINCE HENRY
Prithee, let him alone; we shall have more anon.
FALSTAFF
Dost thou hear me, Hal?
PRINCE HENRY
Ay, and mark thee too, Jack.
FALSTAFF
Do so, for it is worth the listening to. These ninein buckram that I told thee of--
PRINCE HENRY
So, two more already.
FALSTAFF
Their points being broken,--
POINS
Down fell their hose.
FALSTAFF
Began to give me ground: but I followed me close,came in foot and hand; and with a thought seven ofthe eleven I paid.
PRINCE HENRY
O monstrous! eleven buckram men grown out of two!
FALSTAFF
But, as the devil would have it, three misbegottenknaves in Kendal green came at my back and let driveat me; for it was so dark, Hal, that thou couldstnot see thy hand.
PRINCE HENRY
These lies are like their father that begets them;gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thouclay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thouwhoreson, obscene, grease tallow-catch,--
FALSTAFF
What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truththe truth?
PRINCE HENRY
Why, how couldst thou know these men in Kendalgreen, when it was so dark thou couldst not see thyhand? come, tell us your reason: what sayest thou to this?
POINS
Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.
FALSTAFF
What, upon compulsion? 'Zounds, an I were at thestrappado, or all the racks in the world, I wouldnot tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason oncompulsion! If reasons were as plentiful asblackberries, I would give no man a reason uponcompulsion, I.
PRINCE HENRY
I'll be no longer guilty of this sin; this sanguinecoward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker,this huge hill of flesh,--
FALSTAFF
'Sblood, you starveling, you elf-skin, you driedneat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish! Ofor breath to utter what is like thee! youtailor's-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vilestanding-tuck,--
PRINCE HENRY
Well, breathe awhile, and then to it again: andwhen thou hast tired thyself in base comparisons,hear me speak but this.
POINS
Mark, Jack.
PRINCE HENRY
We two saw you four set on four and bound them, andwere masters of their wealth. Mark now, how a plaintale shall put you down. Then did we two set on youfour; and, with a word, out-faced you from yourprize, and have it; yea, and can show it you here inthe house: and, Falstaff, you carried your gutsaway as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roaredfor mercy and still run and roared, as ever I heardbull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy swordas thou hast done, and then say it was in fight!What trick, what device, what starting-hole, canstthou now find out to hide thee from this open andapparent shame?
POINS
Come, let's hear, Jack; what trick hast thou now?
FALSTAFF
By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye.Why, hear you, my masters: was it for me to kill theheir-apparent? should I turn upon the true prince?why, thou knowest I am as valiant as Hercules: butbeware instinct; the lion will not touch the trueprince. Instinct is a great matter; I was now acoward on instinct. I shall think the better ofmyself and thee during my life; I for a valiantlion, and thou for a true prince. But, by the Lord,lads, I am glad you have the money. Hostess, clapto the doors: watch to-night, pray to-morrow.Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold, all the titlesof good fellowship come to you! What, shall we bemerry? shall we have a play extempore?
PRINCE HENRY
Content; and the argument shall be thy running away.
FALSTAFF
Ah, no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest me!
Enter Hostess
Hostess
O Jesu, my lord the prince!
PRINCE HENRY
How now, my lady the hostess! what sayest thou tome?
Hostess
Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman of the court atdoor would speak with you: he says he comes fromyour father.
PRINCE HENRY
Give him as much as will make him a royal man, andsend him back again to my mother.
FALSTAFF
What manner of man is he?
Hostess
An old man.
FALSTAFF
What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight? ShallI give him his answer?
PRINCE HENRY
Prithee, do, Jack.
FALSTAFF
'Faith, and I'll send him packing.
Exit FALSTAFF
PRINCE HENRY
Now, sirs: by'r lady, you fought fair; so did you,Peto; so did you, Bardolph: you are lions too, youran away upon instinct, you will not touch the trueprince; no, fie!
BARDOLPH
'Faith, I ran when I saw others run.
PRINCE HENRY
'Faith, tell me now in earnest, how came Falstaff'ssword so hacked?
PETO
Why, he hacked it with his dagger, and said he wouldswear truth out of England but he would make youbelieve it was done in fight, and persuaded us to do the like.
BARDOLPH
Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear-grass tomake them bleed, and then to beslubber our garmentswith it and swear it was the blood of true men. Idid that I did not this seven year before, I blushedto hear his monstrous devices.
PRINCE HENRY
O villain, thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen yearsago, and wert taken with the manner, and ever sincethou hast blushed extempore. Thou hadst fire andsword on thy side, and yet thou rannest away: whatinstinct hadst thou for it?
BARDOLPH
My lord, do you see these meteors? do you beholdthese exhalations?
PRINCE HENRY
I do.
BARDOLPH
What think you they portend?
PRINCE HENRY
Hot livers and cold purses.
BARDOLPH
Choler, my lord, if rightly taken.
PRINCE HENRY
No, if rightly taken, halter.
Re-enter FALSTAFF
PRINCE HENRY
Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone.How now, my sweet creature of bombast!How long is't ago, Jack, since thou sawest thine own knee?
FALSTAFF
My own knee! when I was about thy years, Hal, I wasnot an eagle's talon in the waist; I could havecrept into any alderman's thumb-ring: a plague ofsighing and grief! it blows a man up like abladder. There's villanous news abroad: here wasSir John Bracy from your father; you must to thecourt in the morning. That same mad fellow of thenorth, Percy, and he of Wales, that gave Amamon thebastinado and made Lucifer cuckold and swore thedevil his true liegeman upon the cross of a Welshhook--what a plague call you him?
POINS
O, Glendower.
FALSTAFF
Owen, Owen, the same; and his son-in-law Mortimer,and old Northumberland, and that sprightly Scot ofScots, Douglas, that runs o' horseback up a hillperpendicular,--
PRINCE HENRY
He that rides at high speed and with his pistolkills a sparrow flying.
FALSTAFF
You have hit it.
PRINCE HENRY
So did he never the sparrow.
FALSTAFF
Well, that rascal hath good mettle in him; he will not run.
PRINCE HENRY
Why, what a rascal art thou then, to praise him sofor running!
FALSTAFF
O' horseback, ye cuckoo; but afoot he will not budge a foot.
PRINCE HENRY
Yes, Jack, upon instinct.
FALSTAFF
I grant ye, upon instinct. Well, he is there too,and one Mordake, and a thousand blue-caps more:Worcester is stolen away to-night; thy father'sbeard is turned white with the news: you may buyland now as cheap as stinking mackerel.
PRINCE HENRY
Why, then, it is like, if there come a hot June andthis civil buffeting hold, we shall buy maidenheadsas they buy hob-nails, by the hundreds.
FALSTAFF
By the mass, lad, thou sayest true; it is like weshall have good trading that way. But tell me, Hal,art not thou horrible afeard? thou beingheir-apparent, could the world pick thee out threesuch enemies again as that fiend Douglas, thatspirit Percy, and that devil Glendower? Art thounot horribly afraid? doth not thy blood thrill atit?
PRINCE HENRY
Not a whit, i' faith; I lack some of thy instinct.
FALSTAFF
Well, thou wert be horribly chid tomorrow when thoucomest to thy father: if thou love me, practise an answer.
PRINCE HENRY
Do thou stand for my father, and examine me upon theparticulars of my life.
FALSTAFF
Shall I? content: this chair shall be my state,this dagger my sceptre, and this cushion my crown.
PRINCE HENRY
Thy state is taken for a joined-stool, thy goldensceptre for a leaden dagger, and thy precious richcrown for a pitiful bald crown!
FALSTAFF
Well, an the fire of grace be not quite out of thee,now shalt thou be moved. Give me a cup of sack tomake my eyes look red, that it may be thought I havewept; for I must speak in passion, and I will do itin King Cambyses' vein.
PRINCE HENRY
Well, here is my leg.
FALSTAFF
And here is my speech. Stand aside, nobility.
Hostess
O Jesu, this is excellent sport, i' faith!
FALSTAFF
Weep not, sweet queen; for trickling tears are vain.
Hostess
O, the father, how he holds his countenance!
FALSTAFF
For God's sake, lords, convey my tristful queen;For tears do stop the flood-gates of her eyes.
Hostess
O Jesu, he doth it as like one of these harlotryplayers as ever I see!
FALSTAFF
Peace, good pint-pot; peace, good tickle-brain.Harry, I do not only marvel where thou spendest thytime, but also how thou art accompanied: for thoughthe camomile, the more it is trodden on the fasterit grows, yet youth, the more it is wasted thesooner it wears. That thou art my son, I havepartly thy mother's word, partly my own opinion,but chiefly a villanous trick of thine eye and afoolish-hanging of thy nether lip, that doth warrantme. If then thou be son to me, here lies the point;why, being son to me, art thou so pointed at? Shallthe blessed sun of heaven prove a micher and eatblackberries? a question not to be asked. Shallthe sun of England prove a thief and take purses? aquestion to be asked. There is a thing, Harry,which thou hast often heard of and it is known tomany in our land by the name of pitch: this pitch,as ancient writers do report, doth defile; so doththe company thou keepest: for, Harry, now I do notspeak to thee in drink but in tears, not inpleasure but in passion, not in words only, but inwoes also: and yet there is a virtuous man whom Ihave often noted in thy company, but I know not his name.
PRINCE HENRY
What manner of man, an it like your majesty?
FALSTAFF
A goodly portly man, i' faith, and a corpulent; of acheerful look, a pleasing eye and a most noblecarriage; and, as I think, his age some fifty, or,by'r lady, inclining to three score; and now Iremember me, his name is Falstaff: if that manshould be lewdly given, he deceiveth me; for, Harry,I see virtue in his looks. If then the tree may beknown by the fruit, as the fruit by the tree, then,peremptorily I speak it, there is virtue in thatFalstaff: him keep with, the rest banish. And tellme now, thou naughty varlet, tell me, where hastthou been this month?
PRINCE HENRY
Dost thou speak like a king? Do thou stand for me,and I'll play my father.
FALSTAFF
Depose me? if thou dost it half so gravely, somajestically, both in word and matter, hang me up bythe heels for a rabbit-sucker or a poulter's hare.
PRINCE HENRY
Well, here I am set.
FALSTAFF
And here I stand: judge, my masters.
PRINCE HENRY
Now, Harry, whence come you?
FALSTAFF
My noble lord, from Eastcheap.
PRINCE HENRY
The complaints I hear of thee are grievous.
FALSTAFF
'Sblood, my lord, they are false: nay, I'll tickleye for a young prince, i' faith.
PRINCE HENRY
Swearest thou, ungracious boy? henceforth ne'er lookon me. Thou art violently carried away from grace:there is a devil haunts thee in the likeness of anold fat man; a tun of man is thy companion. Whydost thou converse with that trunk of humours, thatbolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcelof dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffedcloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox withthe pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, thatgrey iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity inyears? Wherein is he good, but to taste sack anddrink it? wherein neat and cleanly, but to carve acapon and eat it? wherein cunning, but in craft?wherein crafty, but in villany? wherein villanous,but in all things? wherein worthy, but in nothing?
FALSTAFF
I would your grace would take me with you: whommeans your grace?
PRINCE HENRY
That villanous abominable misleader of youth,Falstaff, that old white-bearded Satan.
FALSTAFF
My lord, the man I know.
PRINCE HENRY
I know thou dost.
FALSTAFF
But to say I know more harm in him than in myself,were to say more than I know. That he is old, themore the pity, his white hairs do witness it; butthat he is, saving your reverence, a whoremaster,that I utterly deny. If sack and sugar be a fault,God help the wicked! if to be old and merry be asin, then many an old host that I know is damned: ifto be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean kineare to be loved. No, my good lord; banish Peto,banish Bardolph, banish Poins: but for sweet JackFalstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff,valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant,being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not himthy Harry's company, banish not him thy Harry'scompany: banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.
PRINCE HENRY
I do, I will.
A knocking heard
Exeunt Hostess, FRANCIS, and BARDOLPH
Re-enter BARDOLPH, running
BARDOLPH
O, my lord, my lord! the sheriff with a mostmonstrous watch is at the door.
FALSTAFF
Out, ye rogue! Play out the play: I have much tosay in the behalf of that Falstaff.
Re-enter the Hostess
Hostess
O Jesu, my lord, my lord!
PRINCE HENRY
Heigh, heigh! the devil rides upon a fiddlestick:what's the matter?
Hostess
The sheriff and all the watch are at the door: theyare come to search the house. Shall I let them in?
FALSTAFF
Dost thou hear, Hal? never call a true piece ofgold a counterfeit: thou art essentially mad,without seeming so.
PRINCE HENRY
And thou a natural coward, without instinct.
FALSTAFF
I deny your major: if you will deny the sheriff,so; if not, let him enter: if I become not a cartas well as another man, a plague on my bringing up!I hope I shall as soon be strangled with a halter as another.
PRINCE HENRY
Go, hide thee behind the arras: the rest walk upabove. Now, my masters, for a true face and goodconscience.
FALSTAFF
Both which I have had: but their date is out, andtherefore I'll hide me.
PRINCE HENRY
Call in the sheriff.
Exeunt all except PRINCE HENRY and PETO
Enter Sheriff and the Carrier
PRINCE HENRY
Now, master sheriff, what is your will with me?
Sheriff
First, pardon me, my lord. A hue and cryHath follow'd certain men unto this house.
PRINCE HENRY
What men?
Sheriff
One of them is well known, my gracious lord,A gross fat man.
Carrier
As fat as butter.
PRINCE HENRY
The man, I do assure you, is not here;For I myself at this time have employ'd him.And, sheriff, I will engage my word to theeThat I will, by to-morrow dinner-time,Send him to answer thee, or any man,For any thing he shall be charged withal:And so let me entreat you leave the house.
Sheriff
I will, my lord. There are two gentlemenHave in this robbery lost three hundred marks.
PRINCE HENRY
It may be so: if he have robb'd these men,He shall be answerable; and so farewell.
Sheriff
Good night, my noble lord.
PRINCE HENRY
I think it is good morrow, is it not?
Sheriff
Indeed, my lord, I think it be two o'clock.
Exeunt Sheriff and Carrier
PRINCE HENRY
This oily rascal is known as well as Paul's. Go,call him forth.
PETO
Falstaff!--Fast asleep behind the arras, andsnorting like a horse.
PRINCE HENRY
Hark, how hard he fetches breath. Search his pockets.
He searcheth his pockets, and findeth certain papers
PRINCE HENRY
What hast thou found?
PETO
Nothing but papers, my lord.
PRINCE HENRY
Let's see what they be: read them.
PETO
[Reads] Item, A capon,. . 2s. 2d.Item, Sauce,. . . 4d.Item, Sack, two gallons, 5s. 8d.Item, Anchovies and sack after supper, 2s. 6d.Item, Bread, ob.
PRINCE HENRY
O monstrous! but one half-penny-worth of bread tothis intolerable deal of sack! What there is else,keep close; we'll read it at more advantage: therelet him sleep till day. I'll to the court in themorning. We must all to the wars, and thy placeshall be honourable. I'll procure this fat rogue acharge of foot; and I know his death will be amarch of twelve-score. The money shall be paidback again with advantage. Be with me betimes inthe morning; and so, good morrow, Peto.
Exeunt
PETO
Good morrow, good my lord.