Henry IV, part 1 — Act 3, Scene 2 · Shakespeare for Bharat

KING HENRY IV

Lords, give us leave; the Prince of Wales and IMust have some private conference; but be near at hand,For we shall presently have need of you.

KING HENRY IV

I know not whether God will have it so,For some displeasing service I have done,That, in his secret doom, out of my bloodHe'll breed revengement and a scourge for me;But thou dost in thy passages of lifeMake me believe that thou art only mark'dFor the hot vengeance and the rod of heavenTo punish my mistreadings. Tell me else,Could such inordinate and low desires,Such poor, such bare, such lewd, such mean attempts,Such barren pleasures, rude society,As thou art match'd withal and grafted to,Accompany the greatness of thy bloodAnd hold their level with thy princely heart?

PRINCE HENRY

So please your majesty, I would I couldQuit all offences with as clear excuseAs well as I am doubtless I can purgeMyself of many I am charged withal:Yet such extenuation let me beg,As, in reproof of many tales devised,which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear,By smiling pick-thanks and base news-mongers,I may, for some things true, wherein my youthHath faulty wander'd and irregular,Find pardon on my true submission.

KING HENRY IV

God pardon thee! yet let me wonder, Harry,At thy affections, which do hold a wingQuite from the flight of all thy ancestors.Thy place in council thou hast rudely lost.Which by thy younger brother is supplied,And art almost an alien to the heartsOf all the court and princes of my blood:The hope and expectation of thy timeIs ruin'd, and the soul of every manProphetically doth forethink thy fall.Had I so lavish of my presence been,So common-hackney'd in the eyes of men,So stale and cheap to vulgar company,Opinion, that did help me to the crown,Had still kept loyal to possessionAnd left me in reputeless banishment,A fellow of no mark nor likelihood.By being seldom seen, I could not stirBut like a comet I was wonder'd at;That men would tell their children 'This is he;'Others would say 'Where, which is Bolingbroke?'And then I stole all courtesy from heaven,And dress'd myself in such humilityThat I did pluck allegiance from men's hearts,Loud shouts and salutations from their mouths,Even in the presence of the crowned king.Thus did I keep my person fresh and new;My presence, like a robe pontifical,Ne'er seen but wonder'd at: and so my state,Seldom but sumptuous, showed like a feastAnd won by rareness such solemnity.The skipping king, he ambled up and downWith shallow jesters and rash bavin wits,Soon kindled and soon burnt; carded his state,Mingled his royalty with capering fools,Had his great name profaned with their scornsAnd gave his countenance, against his name,To laugh at gibing boys and stand the pushOf every beardless vain comparative,Grew a companion to the common streets,Enfeoff'd himself to popularity;That, being daily swallow'd by men's eyes,They surfeited with honey and beganTo loathe the taste of sweetness, whereof a littleMore than a little is by much too much.So when he had occasion to be seen,He was but as the cuckoo is in June,Heard, not regarded; seen, but with such eyesAs, sick and blunted with community,Afford no extraordinary gaze,Such as is bent on sun-like majestyWhen it shines seldom in admiring eyes;But rather drowzed and hung their eyelids down,Slept in his face and render'd such aspectAs cloudy men use to their adversaries,Being with his presence glutted, gorged and full.And in that very line, Harry, standest thou;For thou has lost thy princely privilegeWith vile participation: not an eyeBut is a-weary of thy common sight,Save mine, which hath desired to see thee more;Which now doth that I would not have it do,Make blind itself with foolish tenderness.

PRINCE HENRY

I shall hereafter, my thrice gracious lord,Be more myself.

KING HENRY IV

For all the worldAs thou art to this hour was Richard thenWhen I from France set foot at Ravenspurgh,And even as I was then is Percy now.Now, by my sceptre and my soul to boot,He hath more worthy interest to the stateThan thou the shadow of succession;For of no right, nor colour like to right,He doth fill fields with harness in the realm,Turns head against the lion's armed jaws,And, being no more in debt to years than thou,Leads ancient lords and reverend bishops onTo bloody battles and to bruising arms.What never-dying honour hath he gotAgainst renowned Douglas! whose high deeds,Whose hot incursions and great name in armsHolds from all soldiers chief majorityAnd military title capitalThrough all the kingdoms that acknowledge Christ:Thrice hath this Hotspur, Mars in swathling clothes,This infant warrior, in his enterprisesDiscomfited great Douglas, ta'en him once,Enlarged him and made a friend of him,To fill the mouth of deep defiance upAnd shake the peace and safety of our throne.And what say you to this? Percy, Northumberland,The Archbishop's grace of York, Douglas, Mortimer,Capitulate against us and are up.But wherefore do I tell these news to thee?Why, Harry, do I tell thee of my foes,Which art my near'st and dearest enemy?Thou that art like enough, through vassal fear,Base inclination and the start of spleenTo fight against me under Percy's pay,To dog his heels and curtsy at his frowns,To show how much thou art degenerate.

PRINCE HENRY

Do not think so; you shall not find it so:And God forgive them that so much have sway'dYour majesty's good thoughts away from me!I will redeem all this on Percy's headAnd in the closing of some glorious dayBe bold to tell you that I am your son;When I will wear a garment all of bloodAnd stain my favours in a bloody mask,Which, wash'd away, shall scour my shame with it:And that shall be the day, whene'er it lights,That this same child of honour and renown,This gallant Hotspur, this all-praised knight,And your unthought-of Harry chance to meet.For every honour sitting on his helm,Would they were multitudes, and on my headMy shames redoubled! for the time will come,That I shall make this northern youth exchangeHis glorious deeds for my indignities.Percy is but my factor, good my lord,To engross up glorious deeds on my behalf;And I will call him to so strict account,That he shall render every glory up,Yea, even the slightest worship of his time,Or I will tear the reckoning from his heart.This, in the name of God, I promise here:The which if He be pleased I shall perform,I do beseech your majesty may salveThe long-grown wounds of my intemperance:If not, the end of life cancels all bands;And I will die a hundred thousand deathsEre break the smallest parcel of this vow.

KING HENRY IV

A hundred thousand rebels die in this:Thou shalt have charge and sovereign trust herein.

KING HENRY IV

How now, good Blunt? thy looks are full of speed.

SIR WALTER BLUNT

So hath the business that I come to speak of.Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent wordThat Douglas and the English rebels metThe eleventh of this month at ShrewsburyA mighty and a fearful head they are,If promises be kept on every hand,As ever offer'd foul play in the state.

KING HENRY IV

The Earl of Westmoreland set forth to-day;With him my son, Lord John of Lancaster;For this advertisement is five days old:On Wednesday next, Harry, you shall set forward;On Thursday we ourselves will march: our meetingIs Bridgenorth: and, Harry, you shall marchThrough Gloucestershire; by which account,Our business valued, some twelve days henceOur general forces at Bridgenorth shall meet.Our hands are full of business: let's away;Advantage feeds him fat, while men delay.

Scene III

Eastcheap. The Boar's-Head Tavern.

FALSTAFF

Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since this lastaction? do I not bate? do I not dwindle? Why myskin hangs about me like an like an old lady's loosegown; I am withered like an old apple-john. Well,I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in someliking; I shall be out of heart shortly, and then Ishall have no strength to repent. An I have notforgotten what the inside of a church is made of, Iam a peppercorn, a brewer's horse: the inside of achurch! Company, villanous company, hath been thespoil of me.

BARDOLPH

Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long.

FALSTAFF

Why, there is it: come sing me a bawdy song; makeme merry. I was as virtuously given as a gentlemanneed to be; virtuous enough; swore little; diced notabove seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house oncein a quarter--of an hour; paid money that Iborrowed, three of four times; lived well and ingood compass: and now I live out of all order, outof all compass.

BARDOLPH

Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must needsbe out of all compass, out of all reasonablecompass, Sir John.

FALSTAFF

Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life:thou art our admiral, thou bearest the lantern inthe poop, but 'tis in the nose of thee; thou art theKnight of the Burning Lamp.

BARDOLPH

Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.

FALSTAFF

No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as manya man doth of a Death's-head or a memento mori: Inever see thy face but I think upon hell-fire andDives that lived in purple; for there he is in hisrobes, burning, burning. If thou wert any waygiven to virtue, I would swear by thy face; my oathshould be 'By this fire, that's God's angel:' butthou art altogether given over; and wert indeed, butfor the light in thy face, the son of utterdarkness. When thou rannest up Gadshill in thenight to catch my horse, if I did not think thouhadst been an ignis fatuus or a ball of wildfire,there's no purchase in money. O, thou art aperpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire-light!Thou hast saved me a thousand marks in links andtorches, walking with thee in the night betwixttavern and tavern: but the sack that thou hastdrunk me would have bought me lights as good cheapat the dearest chandler's in Europe. I havemaintained that salamander of yours with fire anytime this two and thirty years; God reward me forit!

BARDOLPH

'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly!

FALSTAFF

God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heart-burned.

FALSTAFF

How now, Dame Partlet the hen! have you inquiredyet who picked my pocket?

Hostess

Why, Sir John, what do you think, Sir John? do youthink I keep thieves in my house? I have searched,I have inquired, so has my husband, man by man, boyby boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hairwas never lost in my house before.

FALSTAFF

Ye lie, hostess: Bardolph was shaved and lost manya hair; and I'll be sworn my pocket was picked. Goto, you are a woman, go.

Hostess

Who, I? no; I defy thee: God's light, I was nevercalled so in mine own house before.

FALSTAFF

Go to, I know you well enough.

Hostess

No, Sir John; You do not know me, Sir John. I knowyou, Sir John: you owe me money, Sir John; and nowyou pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I boughtyou a dozen of shirts to your back.

FALSTAFF

Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I have given them away tobakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them.

Hostess

Now, as I am a true woman, holland of eightshillings an ell. You owe money here besides, SirJohn, for your diet and by-drinkings, and money lentyou, four and twenty pound.

FALSTAFF

He had his part of it; let him pay.

Hostess

He? alas, he is poor; he hath nothing.

FALSTAFF

How! poor? look upon his face; what call you rich?let them coin his nose, let them coin his cheeks:Ill not pay a denier. What, will you make a younkerof me? shall I not take mine case in mine inn but Ishall have my pocket picked? I have lost aseal-ring of my grandfather's worth forty mark.

Hostess

O Jesu, I have heard the prince tell him, I know nothow oft, that ring was copper!

FALSTAFF

How! the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup: 'sblood, anhe were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if hewould say so.

FALSTAFF

How now, lad! is the wind in that door, i' faith?must we all march?

BARDOLPH

Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion.

Hostess

My lord, I pray you, hear me.

PRINCE HENRY

What sayest thou, Mistress Quickly? How doth thyhusband? I love him well; he is an honest man.

Hostess

Good my lord, hear me.

FALSTAFF

Prithee, let her alone, and list to me.

PRINCE HENRY

What sayest thou, Jack?

FALSTAFF

The other night I fell asleep here behind the arrasand had my pocket picked: this house is turnedbawdy-house; they pick pockets.

PRINCE HENRY

What didst thou lose, Jack?

FALSTAFF

Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds offorty pound apiece, and a seal-ring of mygrandfather's.

PRINCE HENRY

A trifle, some eight-penny matter.

Hostess

So I told him, my lord; and I said I heard yourgrace say so: and, my lord, he speaks most vilelyof you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and saidhe would cudgel you.

PRINCE HENRY

What! he did not?

Hostess

There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else.

FALSTAFF

There's no more faith in thee than in a stewedprune; nor no more truth in thee than in a drawnfox; and for womanhood, Maid Marian may be thedeputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing,go

Hostess

Say, what thing? what thing?

FALSTAFF

What thing! why, a thing to thank God on.

Hostess

I am no thing to thank God on, I would thoushouldst know it; I am an honest man's wife: and,setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave tocall me so.

FALSTAFF

Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to sayotherwise.

Hostess

Say, what beast, thou knave, thou?

FALSTAFF

What beast! why, an otter.

PRINCE HENRY

An otter, Sir John! Why an otter?

FALSTAFF

Why, she's neither fish nor flesh; a man knows notwhere to have her.

Hostess

Thou art an unjust man in saying so: thou or anyman knows where to have me, thou knave, thou!

PRINCE HENRY

Thou sayest true, hostess; and he slanders thee most grossly.

Hostess

So he doth you, my lord; and said this other day youought him a thousand pound.

PRINCE HENRY

Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound?

FALSTAFF

A thousand pound, Ha! a million: thy love is wortha million: thou owest me thy love.

Hostess

Nay, my lord, he called you Jack, and said he wouldcudgel you.

FALSTAFF

Did I, Bardolph?

BARDOLPH

Indeed, Sir John, you said so.

FALSTAFF

Yea, if he said my ring was copper.

PRINCE HENRY

I say 'tis copper: darest thou be as good as thy word now?

FALSTAFF

Why, Hal, thou knowest, as thou art but man, I dare:but as thou art prince, I fear thee as I fear theroaring of a lion's whelp.

PRINCE HENRY

And why not as the lion?

FALSTAFF

The king is to be feared as the lion: dost thouthink I'll fear thee as I fear thy father? nay, anI do, I pray God my girdle break.

PRINCE HENRY

O, if it should, how would thy guts fall about thyknees! But, sirrah, there's no room for faith,truth, nor honesty in this bosom of thine; it is allfilled up with guts and midriff. Charge an honestwoman with picking thy pocket! why, thou whoreson,impudent, embossed rascal, if there were anything inthy pocket but tavern-reckonings, memorandums ofbawdy-houses, and one poor penny-worth ofsugar-candy to make thee long-winded, if thy pocketwere enriched with any other injuries but these, Iam a villain: and yet you will stand to if; you willnot pocket up wrong: art thou not ashamed?

FALSTAFF

Dost thou hear, Hal? thou knowest in the state ofinnocency Adam fell; and what should poor JackFalstaff do in the days of villany? Thou seest Ihave more flesh than another man, and therefore morefrailty. You confess then, you picked my pocket?

PRINCE HENRY

It appears so by the story.

FALSTAFF

Hostess, I forgive thee: go, make ready breakfast;love thy husband, look to thy servants, cherish thyguests: thou shalt find me tractable to any honestreason: thou seest I am pacified still. Nay,prithee, be gone.

FALSTAFF

Now Hal, to the news at court: for the robbery,lad, how is that answered?

PRINCE HENRY

O, my sweet beef, I must still be good angel tothee: the money is paid back again.

FALSTAFF

O, I do not like that paying back; 'tis a double labour.

PRINCE HENRY

I am good friends with my father and may do any thing.

FALSTAFF

Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou doest, anddo it with unwashed hands too.

BARDOLPH

Do, my lord.

PRINCE HENRY

I have procured thee, Jack, a charge of foot.

FALSTAFF

I would it had been of horse. Where shall I findone that can steal well? O for a fine thief, of theage of two and twenty or thereabouts! I amheinously unprovided. Well, God be thanked forthese rebels, they offend none but the virtuous: Ilaud them, I praise them.

PRINCE HENRY

Bardolph!

BARDOLPH

My lord?

PRINCE HENRY

Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster, to mybrother John; this to my Lord of Westmoreland.

PRINCE HENRY

Go, Peto, to horse, to horse; for thou and I havethirty miles to ride yet ere dinner time.

PRINCE HENRY

Jack, meet me to-morrow in the temple hall at twoo'clock in the afternoon.There shalt thou know thy charge; and there receiveMoney and order for their furniture.The land is burning; Percy stands on high;And either we or they must lower lie.

FALSTAFF

Rare words! brave world! Hostess, my breakfast, come!O, I could wish this tavern were my drum!