Henry IV, part 2 — Act 5, Scene 1 · Shakespeare for Bharat

SHALLOW

By cock and pie, sir, you shall not away to-night.What, Davy, I say!

FALSTAFF

You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.

SHALLOW

I will not excuse you; you shall not be excused;excuses shall not be admitted; there is no excuseshall serve; you shall not be excused. Why, Davy!

DAVY

Here, sir.

SHALLOW

Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see, Davy; let mesee, Davy; let me see: yea, marry, William cook,bid him come hither. Sir John, you shall not be excused.

DAVY

Marry, sir, thus; those precepts cannot be served:and, again, sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat?

SHALLOW

With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook: arethere no young pigeons?

DAVY

Yes, sir. Here is now the smith's note for shoeingand plough-irons.

SHALLOW

Let it be cast and paid. Sir John, you shall not be excused.

DAVY

Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must need behad: and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William'swages, about the sack he lost the other day atHinckley fair?

SHALLOW

A' shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy, a coupleof short-legged hens, a joint of mutton, and anypretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.

DAVY

Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?

SHALLOW

Yea, Davy. I will use him well: a friend i' thecourt is better than a penny in purse. Use his menwell, Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite.

DAVY

No worse than they are backbitten, sir; for theyhave marvellous foul linen.

SHALLOW

Well conceited, Davy: about thy business, Davy.

DAVY

I beseech you, sir, to countenance William Visor ofWoncot against Clement Perkes of the hill.

SHALLOW

There is many complaints, Davy, against that Visor:that Visor is an arrant knave, on my knowledge.

DAVY

I grant your worship that he is a knave, sir; butyet, God forbid, sir, but a knave should have somecountenance at his friend's request. An honestman, sir, is able to speak for himself, when a knaveis not. I have served your worship truly, sir,this eight years; and if I cannot once or twice ina quarter bear out a knave against an honest man, Ihave but a very little credit with your worship. Theknave is mine honest friend, sir; therefore, Ibeseech your worship, let him be countenanced.

SHALLOW

Go to; I say he shall have no wrong. Look about, Davy.

SHALLOW

Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, offwith your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.

BARDOLPH

I am glad to see your worship.

SHALLOW

I thank thee with all my heart, kindMaster Bardolph: and welcome, my tall fellow.

SHALLOW

Come, Sir John.

FALSTAFF

I'll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.

FALSTAFF

Bardolph, look to our horses.

FALSTAFF

If I were sawed into quantities, I should make fourdozen of such bearded hermits' staves as MasterShallow. It is a wonderful thing to see thesemblable coherence of his men's spirits and his:they, by observing of him, do bear themselves likefoolish justices; he, by conversing with them, isturned into a justice-like serving-man: theirspirits are so married in conjunction with theparticipation of society that they flock together inconsent, like so many wild-geese. If I had a suitto Master Shallow, I would humour his men with theimputation of being near their master: if to hismen, I would curry with Master Shallow that no mancould better command his servants. It is certainthat either wise bearing or ignorant carriage iscaught, as men take diseases, one of another:therefore let men take heed of their company. Iwill devise matter enough out of this Shallow tokeep Prince Harry in continual laughter the wearingout of six fashions, which is four terms, or twoactions, and a' shall laugh without intervallums. O,it is much that a lie with a slight oath and a jestwith a sad brow will do with a fellow that neverhad the ache in his shoulders! O, you shall see himlaugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!

SHALLOW

[Within] Sir John!

FALSTAFF

I come, Master Shallow; I come, Master Shallow.