All's Well That Ends Well — Act 3, Scene 2

COUNTESS

It hath happened all as I would have had it, savethat he comes not along with her.

Clown

By my troth, I take my young lord to be a verymelancholy man.

COUNTESS

By what observance, I pray you?

Clown

Why, he will look upon his boot and sing; mend theruff and sing; ask questions and sing; pick histeeth and sing. I know a man that had this trick ofmelancholy sold a goodly manor for a song.

COUNTESS

Let me see what he writes, and when he means to come.

Clown

I have no mind to Isbel since I was at court: ourold ling and our Isbels o' the country are nothinglike your old ling and your Isbels o' the court:the brains of my Cupid's knocked out, and I begin tolove, as an old man loves money, with no stomach.

COUNTESS

What have we here?

Clown

E'en that you have there.

COUNTESS

[Reads] I have sent you a daughter-in-law: she hathrecovered the king, and undone me. I have weddedher, not bedded her; and sworn to make the 'not'eternal. You shall hear I am run away: know itbefore the report come. If there be breadth enoughin the world, I will hold a long distance. My dutyto you. Your unfortunate son,BERTRAM.This is not well, rash and unbridled boy.To fly the favours of so good a king;To pluck his indignation on thy headBy the misprising of a maid too virtuousFor the contempt of empire.

Clown

O madam, yonder is heavy news within between twosoldiers and my young lady!

COUNTESS

What is the matter?

Clown

Nay, there is some comfort in the news, somecomfort; your son will not be killed so soon as Ithought he would.

COUNTESS

Why should he be killed?

Clown

So say I, madam, if he run away, as I hear he does:the danger is in standing to't; that's the loss ofmen, though it be the getting of children. Herethey come will tell you more: for my part, I onlyhear your son was run away.

First Gentleman

Save you, good madam.

HELENA

Madam, my lord is gone, for ever gone.

Second Gentleman

Do not say so.

COUNTESS

Think upon patience. Pray you, gentlemen,I have felt so many quirks of joy and grief,That the first face of neither, on the start,Can woman me unto't: where is my son, I pray you?

Second Gentleman

Madam, he's gone to serve the duke of Florence:We met him thitherward; for thence we came,And, after some dispatch in hand at court,Thither we bend again.

HELENA

Look on his letter, madam; here's my passport.

HELENA

When thou canst get the ring upon my finger whichnever shall come off, and show me a child begottenof thy body that I am father to, then call mehusband: but in such a 'then' I write a 'never.'This is a dreadful sentence.

COUNTESS

Brought you this letter, gentlemen?

First Gentleman

Ay, madam;And for the contents' sake are sorry for our pain.

COUNTESS

I prithee, lady, have a better cheer;If thou engrossest all the griefs are thine,Thou robb'st me of a moiety: he was my son;But I do wash his name out of my blood,And thou art all my child. Towards Florence is he?

Second Gentleman

Ay, madam.

COUNTESS

And to be a soldier?

Second Gentleman

Such is his noble purpose; and believe 't,The duke will lay upon him all the honourThat good convenience claims.

COUNTESS

Return you thither?

First Gentleman

Ay, madam, with the swiftest wing of speed.

HELENA

[Reads] Till I have no wife I have nothing in France.'Tis bitter.

COUNTESS

Find you that there?

HELENA

Ay, madam.

First Gentleman

'Tis but the boldness of his hand, haply, which hisheart was not consenting to.

COUNTESS

Nothing in France, until he have no wife!There's nothing here that is too good for himBut only she; and she deserves a lordThat twenty such rude boys might tend uponAnd call her hourly mistress. Who was with him?

First Gentleman

A servant only, and a gentlemanWhich I have sometime known.

COUNTESS

Parolles, was it not?

First Gentleman

Ay, my good lady, he.

COUNTESS

A very tainted fellow, and full of wickedness.My son corrupts a well-derived natureWith his inducement.

First Gentleman

Indeed, good lady,The fellow has a deal of that too much,Which holds him much to have.

COUNTESS

You're welcome, gentlemen.I will entreat you, when you see my son,To tell him that his sword can never winThe honour that he loses: more I'll entreat youWritten to bear along.

Second Gentleman

We serve you, madam,In that and all your worthiest affairs.

COUNTESS

Not so, but as we change our courtesies.Will you draw near!

HELENA

'Till I have no wife, I have nothing in France.'Nothing in France, until he has no wife!Thou shalt have none, Rousillon, none in France;Then hast thou all again. Poor lord! is't IThat chase thee from thy country and exposeThose tender limbs of thine to the eventOf the none-sparing war? and is it IThat drive thee from the sportive court, where thouWast shot at with fair eyes, to be the markOf smoky muskets? O you leaden messengers,That ride upon the violent speed of fire,Fly with false aim; move the still-peering air,That sings with piercing; do not touch my lord.Whoever shoots at him, I set him there;Whoever charges on his forward breast,I am the caitiff that do hold him to't;And, though I kill him not, I am the causeHis death was so effected: better 'twereI met the ravin lion when he roar'dWith sharp constraint of hunger; better 'twereThat all the miseries which nature owesWere mine at once. No, come thou home, Rousillon,Whence honour but of danger wins a scar,As oft it loses all: I will be gone;My being here it is that holds thee hence:Shall I stay here to do't? no, no, althoughThe air of paradise did fan the houseAnd angels officed all: I will be gone,That pitiful rumour may report my flight,To consolate thine ear. Come, night; end, day!For with the dark, poor thief, I'll steal away.