All's Well That Ends Well — Act 4, Scene 5

LAFEU

No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffetafellow there, whose villanous saffron would havemade all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation inhis colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive atthis hour, and your son here at home, more advancedby the king than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of.

COUNTESS

I would I had not known him; it was the death of themost virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature hadpraise for creating. If she had partaken of myflesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, Icould not have owed her a more rooted love.

LAFEU

'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick athousand salads ere we light on such another herb.

Clown

Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of thesalad, or rather, the herb of grace.

LAFEU

They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs.

Clown

I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not muchskill in grass.

LAFEU

Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool?

Clown

A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's.

LAFEU

Your distinction?

Clown

I would cozen the man of his wife and do his service.

LAFEU

So you were a knave at his service, indeed.

Clown

And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service.

LAFEU

I will subscribe for thee, thou art both knave and fool.

Clown

At your service.

LAFEU

No, no, no.

Clown

Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve asgreat a prince as you are.

LAFEU

Who's that? a Frenchman?

Clown

Faith, sir, a' has an English name; but his fisnomyis more hotter in France than there.

LAFEU

What prince is that?

Clown

The black prince, sir; alias, the prince ofdarkness; alias, the devil.

LAFEU

Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not thisto suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of;serve him still.

Clown

I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved agreat fire; and the master I speak of ever keeps agood fire. But, sure, he is the prince of theworld; let his nobility remain in's court. I am forthe house with the narrow gate, which I take to betoo little for pomp to enter: some that humblethemselves may; but the many will be too chill andtender, and they'll be for the flowery way thatleads to the broad gate and the great fire.

LAFEU

Go thy ways, I begin to be aweary of thee; and Itell thee so before, because I would not fall outwith thee. Go thy ways: let my horses be welllooked to, without any tricks.

Clown

If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall bejades' tricks; which are their own right by the law of nature.

LAFEU

A shrewd knave and an unhappy.

COUNTESS

So he is. My lord that's gone made himself muchsport out of him: by his authority he remains here,which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and,indeed, he has no pace, but runs where he will.

LAFEU

I like him well; 'tis not amiss. And I was about totell you, since I heard of the good lady's death andthat my lord your son was upon his return home, Imoved the king my master to speak in the behalf ofmy daughter; which, in the minority of them both,his majesty, out of a self-gracious remembrance, didfirst propose: his highness hath promised me to doit: and, to stop up the displeasure he hathconceived against your son, there is no fittermatter. How does your ladyship like it?

COUNTESS

With very much content, my lord; and I wish ithappily effected.

LAFEU

His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as ablebody as when he numbered thirty: he will be hereto-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in suchintelligence hath seldom failed.

COUNTESS

It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see him ere Idie. I have letters that my son will be hereto-night: I shall beseech your lordship to remainwith me till they meet together.

LAFEU

Madam, I was thinking with what manners I mightsafely be admitted.

COUNTESS

You need but plead your honourable privilege.

LAFEU

Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but Ithank my God it holds yet.

Clown

O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch ofvelvet on's face: whether there be a scar under'tor no, the velvet knows; but 'tis a goodly patch ofvelvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and ahalf, but his right cheek is worn bare.

LAFEU

A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good liveryof honour; so belike is that.

Clown

But it is your carbonadoed face.

LAFEU

Let us go see your son, I pray you: I long to talkwith the young noble soldier.

Clown

Faith there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate finehats and most courteous feathers, which bow the headand nod at every man.