Act I · Scene V
Court before the same.
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Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool
KING LEAR
Go you before to Gloucester with these letters.Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing youknow than comes from her demand out of the letter.If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you.
KENT
I will not sleep, my lord, till I have deliveredyour letter.
Exit
Fool
If a man's brains were in's heels, were't not indanger of kibes?
KING LEAR
Ay, boy.
Fool
Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne'er goslip-shod.
KING LEAR
Ha, ha, ha!
Fool
Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly;for though she's as like this as a crab's like anapple, yet I can tell what I can tell.
KING LEAR
Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?
Fool
She will taste as like this as a crab does to acrab. Thou canst tell why one's nose stands i'the middle on's face?
KING LEAR
No.
Fool
Why, to keep one's eyes of either side's nose; thatwhat a man cannot smell out, he may spy into.
KING LEAR
I did her wrong--
Fool
Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?
KING LEAR
No.
Fool
Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.
KING LEAR
Why?
Fool
Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to hisdaughters, and leave his horns without a case.
KING LEAR
I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be myhorses ready?
Fool
Thy asses are gone about 'em. The reason why theseven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.
KING LEAR
Because they are not eight?
Fool
Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool.
KING LEAR
To take 't again perforce! Monster ingratitude!
Fool
If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I'ld have thee beatenfor being old before thy time.
KING LEAR
How's that?
Fool
Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadstbeen wise.
KING LEAR
O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heavenKeep me in temper: I would not be mad!
Enter Gentleman
KING LEAR
How now! are the horses ready?
Gentleman
Ready, my lord.
KING LEAR
Come, boy.
Fool
She that's a maid now, and laughs at my departure,Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter.
Exeunt