The Merchant of Venice — Act 1, Scene 2

PORTIA

By my troth, Nerissa, my little body is aweary ofthis great world.

NERISSA

You would be, sweet madam, if your miseries were inthe same abundance as your good fortunes are: andyet, for aught I see, they are as sick that surfeitwith too much as they that starve with nothing. Itis no mean happiness therefore, to be seated in themean: superfluity comes sooner by white hairs, butcompetency lives longer.

PORTIA

Good sentences and well pronounced.

NERISSA

They would be better, if well followed.

PORTIA

If to do were as easy as to know what were good todo, chapels had been churches and poor men'scottages princes' palaces. It is a good divine thatfollows his own instructions: I can easier teachtwenty what were good to be done, than be one of thetwenty to follow mine own teaching. The brain maydevise laws for the blood, but a hot temper leapso'er a cold decree: such a hare is madness theyouth, to skip o'er the meshes of good counsel thecripple. But this reasoning is not in the fashion tochoose me a husband. O me, the word 'choose!' I mayneither choose whom I would nor refuse whom Idislike; so is the will of a living daughter curbedby the will of a dead father. Is it not hard,Nerissa, that I cannot choose one nor refuse none?

NERISSA

Your father was ever virtuous; and holy men at theirdeath have good inspirations: therefore the lottery,that he hath devised in these three chests of gold,silver and lead, whereof who chooses his meaningchooses you, will, no doubt, never be chosen by anyrightly but one who shall rightly love. But whatwarmth is there in your affection towards any ofthese princely suitors that are already come?

PORTIA

I pray thee, over-name them; and as thou namestthem, I will describe them; and, according to mydescription, level at my affection.

NERISSA

First, there is the Neapolitan prince.

PORTIA

Ay, that's a colt indeed, for he doth nothing buttalk of his horse; and he makes it a greatappropriation to his own good parts, that he canshoe him himself. I am much afeard my lady hismother played false with a smith.

NERISSA

Then there is the County Palatine.

PORTIA

He doth nothing but frown, as who should say 'If youwill not have me, choose:' he hears merry tales andsmiles not: I fear he will prove the weepingphilosopher when he grows old, being so full ofunmannerly sadness in his youth. I had rather bemarried to a death's-head with a bone in his mouththan to either of these. God defend me from thesetwo!

NERISSA

How say you by the French lord, Monsieur Le Bon?

PORTIA

God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man.In truth, I know it is a sin to be a mocker: but,he! why, he hath a horse better than theNeapolitan's, a better bad habit of frowning thanthe Count Palatine; he is every man in no man; if athrostle sing, he falls straight a capering: he willfence with his own shadow: if I should marry him, Ishould marry twenty husbands. If he would despise meI would forgive him, for if he love me to madness, Ishall never requite him.

NERISSA

What say you, then, to Falconbridge, the young baronof England?

PORTIA

You know I say nothing to him, for he understandsnot me, nor I him: he hath neither Latin, French,nor Italian, and you will come into the court andswear that I have a poor pennyworth in the English.He is a proper man's picture, but, alas, who canconverse with a dumb-show? How oddly he is suited!I think he bought his doublet in Italy, his roundhose in France, his bonnet in Germany and hisbehavior every where.

NERISSA

What think you of the Scottish lord, his neighbour?

PORTIA

That he hath a neighbourly charity in him, for heborrowed a box of the ear of the Englishman andswore he would pay him again when he was able: Ithink the Frenchman became his surety and sealedunder for another.

NERISSA

How like you the young German, the Duke of Saxony's nephew?

PORTIA

Very vilely in the morning, when he is sober, andmost vilely in the afternoon, when he is drunk: whenhe is best, he is a little worse than a man, andwhen he is worst, he is little better than a beast:and the worst fall that ever fell, I hope I shallmake shift to go without him.

NERISSA

If he should offer to choose, and choose the rightcasket, you should refuse to perform your father'swill, if you should refuse to accept him.

PORTIA

Therefore, for fear of the worst, I pray thee, set adeep glass of rhenish wine on the contrary casket,for if the devil be within and that temptationwithout, I know he will choose it. I will do anything, Nerissa, ere I'll be married to a sponge.

NERISSA

You need not fear, lady, the having any of theselords: they have acquainted me with theirdeterminations; which is, indeed, to return to theirhome and to trouble you with no more suit, unlessyou may be won by some other sort than your father'simposition depending on the caskets.

PORTIA

If I live to be as old as Sibylla, I will die aschaste as Diana, unless I be obtained by the mannerof my father's will. I am glad this parcel of wooersare so reasonable, for there is not one among thembut I dote on his very absence, and I pray God grantthem a fair departure.

NERISSA

Do you not remember, lady, in your father's time, aVenetian, a scholar and a soldier, that came hitherin company of the Marquis of Montferrat?

PORTIA

Yes, yes, it was Bassanio; as I think, he was so called.

NERISSA

True, madam: he, of all the men that ever my foolisheyes looked upon, was the best deserving a fair lady.

PORTIA

I remember him well, and I remember him worthy ofthy praise.

PORTIA

How now! what news?

Servant

The four strangers seek for you, madam, to taketheir leave: and there is a forerunner come from afifth, the Prince of Morocco, who brings word theprince his master will be here to-night.

PORTIA

If I could bid the fifth welcome with so good aheart as I can bid the other four farewell, I shouldbe glad of his approach: if he have the conditionof a saint and the complexion of a devil, I hadrather he should shrive me than wive me. Come,Nerissa. Sirrah, go before.Whiles we shut the gatesupon one wooer, another knocks at the door.