The Merchant of Venice — Act 3, Scene 5

LAUNCELOT

Yes, truly; for, look you, the sins of the fatherare to be laid upon the children: therefore, Ipromise ye, I fear you. I was always plain withyou, and so now I speak my agitation of the matter:therefore be of good cheer, for truly I think youare damned. There is but one hope in it that can doyou any good; and that is but a kind of bastardhope neither.

JESSICA

And what hope is that, I pray thee?

LAUNCELOT

Marry, you may partly hope that your father got younot, that you are not the Jew's daughter.

JESSICA

That were a kind of bastard hope, indeed: so thesins of my mother should be visited upon me.

LAUNCELOT

Truly then I fear you are damned both by father andmother: thus when I shun Scylla, your father, Ifall into Charybdis, your mother: well, you aregone both ways.

JESSICA

I shall be saved by my husband; he hath made me aChristian.

LAUNCELOT

Truly, the more to blame he: we were Christiansenow before; e'en as many as could well live, one byanother. This making Christians will raise theprice of hogs: if we grow all to be pork-eaters, weshall not shortly have a rasher on the coals for money.

JESSICA

I'll tell my husband, Launcelot, what you say: here he comes.

LORENZO

I shall grow jealous of you shortly, Launcelot, ifyou thus get my wife into corners.

JESSICA

Nay, you need not fear us, Lorenzo: Launcelot and Iare out. He tells me flatly, there is no mercy forme in heaven, because I am a Jew's daughter: and hesays, you are no good member of the commonwealth,for in converting Jews to Christians, you raise theprice of pork.

LORENZO

I shall answer that better to the commonwealth thanyou can the getting up of the negro's belly: theMoor is with child by you, Launcelot.

LAUNCELOT

It is much that the Moor should be more than reason:but if she be less than an honest woman, she isindeed more than I took her for.

LORENZO

How every fool can play upon the word! I think thebest grace of wit will shortly turn into silence,and discourse grow commendable in none only butparrots. Go in, sirrah; bid them prepare for dinner.

LAUNCELOT

That is done, sir; they have all stomachs.

LORENZO

Goodly Lord, what a wit-snapper are you! then bidthem prepare dinner.

LAUNCELOT

That is done too, sir; only 'cover' is the word.

LORENZO

Will you cover then, sir?

LAUNCELOT

Not so, sir, neither; I know my duty.

LORENZO

Yet more quarrelling with occasion! Wilt thou showthe whole wealth of thy wit in an instant? I praytree, understand a plain man in his plain meaning:go to thy fellows; bid them cover the table, servein the meat, and we will come in to dinner.

LAUNCELOT

For the table, sir, it shall be served in; for themeat, sir, it shall be covered; for your coming into dinner, sir, why, let it be as humours andconceits shall govern.

LORENZO

O dear discretion, how his words are suited!The fool hath planted in his memoryAn army of good words; and I do knowA many fools, that stand in better place,Garnish'd like him, that for a tricksy wordDefy the matter. How cheerest thou, Jessica?And now, good sweet, say thy opinion,How dost thou like the Lord Bassanio's wife?

JESSICA

Past all expressing. It is very meetThe Lord Bassanio live an upright life;For, having such a blessing in his lady,He finds the joys of heaven here on earth;And if on earth he do not mean it, thenIn reason he should never come to heavenWhy, if two gods should play some heavenly matchAnd on the wager lay two earthly women,And Portia one, there must be something elsePawn'd with the other, for the poor rude worldHath not her fellow.

LORENZO

Even such a husbandHast thou of me as she is for a wife.

JESSICA

Nay, but ask my opinion too of that.

LORENZO

I will anon: first, let us go to dinner.

JESSICA

Nay, let me praise you while I have a stomach.

LORENZO

No, pray thee, let it serve for table-talk;' Then, howso'er thou speak'st, 'mong other thingsI shall digest it.

JESSICA

Well, I'll set you forth.