Much Ado About Nothing — Act 3, Scene 4

HERO

Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desireher to rise.

URSULA

I will, lady.

HERO

And bid her come hither.

URSULA

Well.

MARGARET

Troth, I think your other rabato were better.

HERO

No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this.

MARGARET

By my troth, 's not so good; and I warrant yourcousin will say so.

HERO

My cousin's a fool, and thou art another: I'll wearnone but this.

MARGARET

I like the new tire within excellently, if the hairwere a thought browner; and your gown's a most rarefashion, i' faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan'sgown that they praise so.

HERO

O, that exceeds, they say.

MARGARET

By my troth, 's but a night-gown in respect ofyours: cloth o' gold, and cuts, and laced withsilver, set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves,and skirts, round underborne with a bluish tinsel:but for a fine, quaint, graceful and excellentfashion, yours is worth ten on 't.

HERO

God give me joy to wear it! for my heart isexceeding heavy.

MARGARET

'Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.

HERO

Fie upon thee! art not ashamed?

MARGARET

Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is notmarriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lordhonourable without marriage? I think you would haveme say, 'saving your reverence, a husband:' and badthinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offendnobody: is there any harm in 'the heavier for ahusband'? None, I think, and it be the right husbandand the right wife; otherwise 'tis light, and notheavy: ask my Lady Beatrice else; here she comes.

HERO

Good morrow, coz.

BEATRICE

Good morrow, sweet Hero.

HERO

Why how now? do you speak in the sick tune?

BEATRICE

I am out of all other tune, methinks.

MARGARET

Clap's into 'Light o' love;' that goes without aburden: do you sing it, and I'll dance it.

BEATRICE

Ye light o' love, with your heels! then, if yourhusband have stables enough, you'll see he shalllack no barns.

MARGARET

O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels.

BEATRICE

'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin; tis time you wereready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill: heigh-ho!

MARGARET

For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

BEATRICE

For the letter that begins them all, H.

MARGARET

Well, and you be not turned Turk, there's no moresailing by the star.

BEATRICE

What means the fool, trow?

MARGARET

Nothing I; but God send every one their heart's desire!

HERO

These gloves the count sent me; they are anexcellent perfume.

BEATRICE

I am stuffed, cousin; I cannot smell.

MARGARET

A maid, and stuffed! there's goodly catching of cold.

BEATRICE

O, God help me! God help me! how long have youprofessed apprehension?

MARGARET

Even since you left it. Doth not my wit become me rarely?

BEATRICE

It is not seen enough, you should wear it in yourcap. By my troth, I am sick.

MARGARET

Get you some of this distilled Carduus Benedictus,and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm.

HERO

There thou prickest her with a thistle.

BEATRICE

Benedictus! why Benedictus? you have some moral inthis Benedictus.

MARGARET

Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; Imeant, plain holy-thistle. You may think perchancethat I think you are in love: nay, by'r lady, I amnot such a fool to think what I list, nor I listnot to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think,if I would think my heart out of thinking, that youare in love or that you will be in love or that youcan be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, andnow is he become a man: he swore he would nevermarry, and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eatshis meat without grudging: and how you may beconverted I know not, but methinks you look withyour eyes as other women do.

BEATRICE

What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?

MARGARET

Not a false gallop.

URSULA

Madam, withdraw: the prince, the count, SigniorBenedick, Don John, and all the gallants of thetown, are come to fetch you to church.

HERO

Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.