Act II · Scene III
A field near Windsor.
Hover a speech to translate it — or press play to hear it performed.
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY
DOCTOR CAIUS
Jack Rugby!
RUGBY
Sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat is de clock, Jack?
RUGBY
'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; hehas pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar,Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
RUGBY
He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would killhim, if he came.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
RUGBY
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Villany, take your rapier.
RUGBY
Forbear; here's company.
Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE
Host
Bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW
Save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE
Now, good master doctor!
SLENDER
Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
Host
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see theetraverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; tosee thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thydistance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? ishe dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says myAEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! ishe dead, bully stale? is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; heis not show his face.
Host
Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS
I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six orseven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
SHALLOW
He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer ofsouls, and you a curer of bodies; if you shouldfight, you go against the hair of your professions.Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a greatfighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and ofthe peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches tomake one. Though we are justices and doctors andchurchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of ouryouth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.
PAGE
'Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW
It will be found so, Master Page. Master DoctorCaius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn ofthe peace: you have showed yourself a wisephysician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wiseand patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.
Host
Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Mock-vater! vat is dat?
Host
Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as deEnglishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, mevill cut his ears.
Host
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
Host
That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me;for, by gar, me vill have it.
Host
And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Me tank you for dat.
Host
And, moreover, bully,--but first, master guest, andMaster Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go youthrough the town to Frogmore.
Aside to them
PAGE
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host
He is there: see what humour he is in; and I willbring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
SHALLOW
We will do it.
SLENDER
Adieu, good master doctor.
Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for ajack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Host
Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw coldwater on thy choler: go about the fields with methrough Frogmore: I will bring thee where MistressAnne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thoushalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you;and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl,de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
Host
For the which I will be thy adversary toward AnnePage. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS
By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host
Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
Exeunt